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Despite growing up in a house full of self-righteous bigots, I retained a socially liberal core. I don't remember what prompted the year-old me to ask my mother about gay women right there in the middle of our suburban kitchen, in a cloud of her menthol tobacco smoke and the dust particles from a million decorative paper towels. Of course, my 9-year-old brain didn't yet know that word, "gay," and certainly didn't understand the machinations of gay male sex. I understood more than I knew. She was hip for a housekeeper. I understood, instinctively, that Malibu Ken was like Monroe.

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Eliana. Age: 26.
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They agreed to raise children together, from two separate but neighboring addresses, but it was understood that Ken would never marry Barbie.

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Jane. Age: 25.
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That was impossible, you see, because Malibu Ken was gay. I opened myself up to dating again. It was the day after Thanksgiving.

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