Despite growing up in a house full of self-righteous bigots, I retained a socially liberal core. I don't remember what prompted the year-old me to ask my mother about gay women right there in the middle of our suburban kitchen, in a cloud of her menthol tobacco smoke and the dust particles from a million decorative paper towels. Of course, my 9-year-old brain didn't yet know that word, "gay," and certainly didn't understand the machinations of gay male sex. I understood more than I knew. She was hip for a housekeeper. I understood, instinctively, that Malibu Ken was like Monroe.
Eliana. Age: 26.
They agreed to raise children together, from two separate but neighboring addresses, but it was understood that Ken would never marry Barbie.
Jane. Age: 25.
Lesbians are fat, ugly and can't get a man
That was impossible, you see, because Malibu Ken was gay. I opened myself up to dating again. It was the day after Thanksgiving.